Rate my ballad, please?

Well, we had to write a ballad for our language class. I admit, I%26#039;m not totally thrilled with mine, but it works well enough.

Please rate and critique! I appreciate your feedback. Thanks!

Here it goes:

The sobs came soft from the congregation,

On and on the prayers drawled,

Overcome by desperation,

And memories recalled.

A girl, Hayley, about seventeen,

Sneaked into the back row.

She wore an expression, soft and serene,

Her face pale and white as snow.

The air from the outside, mingling with sorrow,

Gently blew her dress.

She hoped inside for a happier tomorrow.

She missed her true love閳ユ獨 caress.

A single drink one fateful night,

Had turned to a daily ritual.

If only she had known his single blight,

Would soon become habitual.

Foolishness had been his end,

With a drunken trip behind the wheel.

A tragic spin around the bend,

Sparks flying against steel.

A tear of regret dripped down from one eye

They spoke of her love with such exalt.

Her gaze shifted towards the mirrored sky,

And she managed to mutter, 閳ユ翻his is your own fault.閳?br>

A girl, Hayley, about seventeen,

Sneaked out of the back row.

She wore an expression, soft and serene.

She had finally let go.

Rate my ballad, please?

WOW!!!!!! that was beautiful

Rate my ballad, please?

I stopped half, sorry, it%26#039;s just too damn long

Rate my ballad, please?

aww thats really cute

Rate my ballad, please?

* * * *1/2. That was good, and a bit sad :%26#039;(

Rate my ballad, please?

I love it!...mind if I put music to that and write it as a song??

Rate my ballad, please?

Wow, that was really good!